Updated: Sep 7, 2021
I struggled with my testimony as a teenager. I think most of us do at some point. We question what we’ve been taught, and wonder if any of it is true. It’s part of our passage into adulthood I think.
I was 16 years old during this particular struggle. I was at girl’s camp that summer, which is a church camp arranged for girls ages 12-18 in your area, and we took a hike to the mountains where we were then asked to take some time alone. To seclude ourselves and read and pray and ponder.
Each of our parents wrote us a note we were told we could read during this seclusion. I can’t remember anything my mom wrote except, “you were born with a testimony.”
I was mad. I wasn’t born with a testimony. Didn’t she know I was struggling? I didn’t know if it was true! How could she definitively say I was born with a testimony. A testimony is something you believe wholeheartedly, and I just wasn’t sure that I believed in God and his son Jesus Christ.
I still struggled even after that time. I knew it, then I didn’t, I found my testimony of God and lost it again. I felt of His truth in my life, and then it got clouded by the everyday stuff. I think this happens to many of us. We know the truth, but we let the world convince us otherwise. We let the busyness of life cloud out the truth.
Fast forward to today. I finally understand what was happening. And I finally understand what my mom was talking about. I wasn’t losing my testimony, it was just getting muddled. And when truth was spoken to me at church or in scriptures or during prayers, I knew it. And I knew once again that what I had believed for so long was true. I wasn’t born knowing God, I was born knowing the truth about God.
My spiritual gift is truth. My spirit knows when truth has been spoken. It’s undeniable to me. Whether gospel related, or parenting related, or life related, I know when truth has been spoken. I can feel it deep inside.
I never lost my testimony. I just stopped hearing truth. I got too busy and distracted to seek it out, to listen to it, and to study it. But once I placed myself back in its path, back to the path of righteousness, it could speak to me once again.
In the Book of Mormon, another testament of Jesus Christ, it says in the Doctrine and Covenants 46:28:
“And all these gifts come from God, for the benefit of the children of God.”
This gift carried me through many uncertain times. I can not deny when truth has been spoken to me, and I thank my Heavenly Father every day for this gift. It has been an amazing help to me while on this earth.
We all have gifts, and when we seek to understand them and rely on our Father above, He will make them known unto us. Our truths will be revealed. For He blesses us all with spiritual gifts, and we need only seek Him to make them known unto us.
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